Fear of Feminism

In the week since the Women’s March on Washington (and the man sister marches that took place that same day–including the March on Austin, in which I participated), I’ve been handed one example after another relevant to this week’s topic. I’m going to explain how our culture creates a fear of feminism in the people who would benefit from it most directly.

You guessed it: those people are women.

The stuff I’ve seen this week is certainly nothing new. Generally speaking, it falls into the big three categories of feminist fearmongering.

1. Telling women that feminism is ridiculous/irrational.

Perhaps you’ve already read North Carolina Senator Joyce Krawiec’s thoughts on the women’s marches. On Monday, she tweeted the following: “Message to crazies @ Women’s March —If brains were lard, you couldn’t grease a small skillet.”

This tactic works because the idea that women are irrational is already part of our cultural fabric.  Consider the stereotypical comments about a woman’s hormonal instability. Or just her ability to drive. You don’t even have to try very hard to get people on board with this argument, tired and outdated as it is. Women are made to question their own judgement early on. Questioning their thoughts about the need for feminism fits neatly into that pattern.

2. Telling women that using their voices is inappropriate behavior and/or the wrong use of their time.

Shut up and go shave your legs was the first comment I saw in this category. (I’ve been collecting them all week. And yes, it has been a joyful pursuit.) Another example: If those women spent as much time cooking as they did yelling, maybe they’d have husbands who could talk some sense into them. And another: Try going to Saudi Arabia if you want something to complain about.

Angry women frighten people because, in cultural terms, women are expected to be the civilizers. We’re the ones who make those wild, untamed men “settle down” with our magical womanly powers. But the concept of “feminine wiles” is still in circulation, too, suggesting that female power is both manipulative and untrustworthy. Claims of women trapping men in marriage and lying about sexual assault are just further evidence of this idea hard at work. Angry + manipulative = Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction, insisting “I’m not going to be ignored.“

When men use their voices to speak forcefully, they’re leaders. When women do the same thing–they’re out of control. And who’s going to civilize the men, if the women are out of control?

Keeping women quiet suggests that our very dangerous female anger is being kept in check. And that explains why disparaging women’s voices works so well to make people afraid of the f-word.

3. Telling women that feminists are unattractive.

In comments on photos of the crowds of marchers this week, I’ve seen dozens of statements like the following:

I bet you could make a shag rug out of all that leg hair.

Apparently shaving hairy armpits isn’t the only thing feminists don’t care about. (This was appended to a fake news article about trash left after the women’s march in Washington D.C..)

In one day, [the president] got more fat women walking than Michelle Obama did in eight years. (This last comment, by the way, came via a meme posted on Indiana Senator Jack Sandlin’s Facebook page.)

This is probably the most common way of making women afraid of calling themselves feminists, or even daring to identify themselves with feminism. It’s a popular technique because it works. There’s an entire industry in this country devoted to the beautification of women–which suggests, in and of itself, that women are not inherently beautiful. So telling a woman she’s ugly touches on one of the deep fears many women carry with us. Telling her that feminists are ugly ensures that she’ll think twice before identifying herself with that group.

Add to this the fact that little girls are taught, via Disney princess movies and all manner of other cultural messages, that they need to find their prince. That message becomes so deeply internalized that teenage girls often turn against each other in their competition for princes. If men find feminists unattractive, isn’t that going to make the prince-finding mission all that more difficult?

Doesn’t it just make sense that young women would avoid calling themselves feminist–especially if they’re still waiting for that prince to show up?

And doesn’t it just make sense that older women, who’ve never called themselves feminist, would come to think it isn’t necessary?

All that from a simple statement like I bet you could make a shag rug out of all that leg hair. Kind of stunning, when you think about it.

 

I won’t pretend that messages like the ones I’ve repeated here don’t make me angry. They absolutely do. But once I get past my initial anger, I’m able to laugh. They’re really little more than the kind of name-calling that goes on in elementary school–and the fact that someone might genuinely believe that an insult will change an ideology is about as absurd as it gets.

This deep-rooted fear of feminism just proves how powerful women can be when they join forces to insist on being treated fairly. That’s the only explanation for comments like those I’ve repeated here. If women coming together in their frustration were, in fact, pointless, then no one would bother to complain about it. They’d let us entertain ourselves with our little protest signs, the way mothers give their kids a coloring book and crayons in the hope of having time to get something important done.

Instead, they do their best to make us fear our power. But if last weekend’s marches were any indication, they’re not doing a very good job.