You may have noticed that things in the She Dwells community have been pretty quiet for the past few months. That’s because this last portion of 2019 did not, shall we say, go to plan. Good thing my word of the year for 2019 was Focus–I’ve never been in greater need of that ability at any other point in my life.
In September of this year, just a few weeks into the fall semester, Mike realized that he would not be able to continue teaching. We’d spent the summer seeing new doctors in the hope of getting a better handle on the symptoms of Parkinson’s Disease that were making daily life a challenge for him. We thought we were in a pretty good place. But when the daily stresses of teaching ramped up to full speed, it became clear that Mike just couldn’t keep up with the schedule he’s been maintaining for the last 20 years. He simply doesn’t have the physical stamina it requires–and, sadly, PD now interferes with the thinking and speaking skills a teacher relies on. The ability to switch gears quickly–to “think on your feet” and solve problems as they arise–is, for many people, one of the most frustrating casualties of Parkinson’s.
Since September, Mike and I have learned more than we ever wanted to know about FMLA, long-term disability insurance, and Social Security Disability Insurance. We’ve also had to learn the laws surrounding withdrawal from retirement savings before retirement age. (Talk about the need to focus. I’ve often wondered how a single person with moderate education would navigate this bureaucratic labyrinth–it’s nearly impossible for two people who are pretty good at reading and understanding things.) We’ve thought ahead to what our lives will look like if Mike can’t return to work. We’ve already revised our budget with that possibility in mind. He’s scheduled for extensive neuropsychological testing in late February, after which we’ll have a clearer sense of the road forward from here.
One thing we already know for sure about the future: it looks nothing like the one we had envisioned.
But even so, we’re both aware of how lucky we are to be facing that future from where we are. We have resources and support from friends, family, and each other. We remind ourselves of these facts on a regular basis.
It’s easy to let frustration with the ways things are cloud the view of things yet to come–more things than we can begin to imagine. Here’s to living in the beautiful moment as we turn the corner into a brand new decade.
1 Comment
Pam, you’re an inspiration.