The last few weeks have been pretty stressful. Before we received Mike’s diagnosis, we were navigating a labyrinth of medical appointments and tests. Before that, we were (like good academics) diligently researching his symptoms, preparing ourselves for what the neurologist might say. We were pretty sure that Mike had Parkinson’s Disease–still, hearing those words isn’t something you can prepare for.
Even before all of that, we were making the hard decision to say goodbye to our elderly dog, Hailey. She’d been with us since our kids were 5 and 7 years old. Her health had been failing for some time; still, we’d hoped to keep Hailey with us through the summer. When it became clear this plan benefitted us more than her, we made the hard choice to let Hailey go.
The only way I know to cope with stress is to get active. This typically takes the form of planning ahead–knowing I’m prepared gives me great peace of mind. I’m less likely to stress out about things going awry if I’ve planned for whatever contingencies I can imagine.
But it’s not always possible to plan ahead. Parkinson’s is notoriously unpredictable–no two cases are the same–and its symptoms don’t follow a standard progression. They are, however, exacerbated by stress.
Fortunately, being stress-free also means doing whatever needs to be done in the present. And, these days, I’m doing everything I can to eliminate stress from our lives.
For instance:
On a daily basis
Put everything in its place. I rarely lose my keys because I know where to look for them. Same goes for my phone, shoes, the kitchen scissors, etc. Taking an extra few seconds to put things where they’re supposed to be (before you get distracted by something else and forget) eliminates stress in the moment when you need whatever you’re looking for.
Prepare for the following day. This can take many different forms: packing tomorrow’s lunch, making sure you have clean clothes, getting the coffeemaker ready to go. I always pack my work bag and set it beside the door so I won’t forget to grab it on my way out.
Get up when the alarm goes off. Those extra few minutes of sleep are delicious, but rushing around in a frenzy after you’ve overslept is not. It makes the whole day more stressful than it needs to be. Thankfully, this kind of stress is easy to avoid–even if, like me, you’re a person who hates to get out of bed. I hate being stressed out even more.
Eat. When you’re in a rush or just steadily busy throughout the day, it’s easy to skip a meal. But failing to eat is one of the best ways to stress yourself out. I try to have packs of nuts, granola bars, or something equally portable on hand for those days when I can’t find the time to sit down and eat between classes and meetings. Also, because Mike takes medication with a meal three times a day, planning food into our lives is doubly important.
Make lists. I keep a running list of the things that have to get done today and the things that need to get done this week. Crossing off items gives me a sense of accomplishment that goes a long way toward balancing out whatever stress I’m feeling. I also make grocery lists, household lists, and every other kind of list you can imagine. Writing things down alleviates the stress of trying to hold multiple items in my head.
As a general rule
Make duplicates. Extra house keys and car keys are a big sanity-saver. Keep the extras in places you can access easily when you’ll need them–in a pocket of your purse, a desk drawer at work, or with a neighbor. Extra copies of important documents, stored in various locations, will also give you peace of mind. It’s unlikely they’ll all get lost or destroyed.
Keep up with preventative maintenance. This applies to houses, cars, and bodies. Putting off tasks because you don’t have time to deal with them virtually guarantees that you’ll be doing them at the worst possible time. Very possibly, you’ll be dealing with a more serious (and more stressful) situation that could have been avoided.
Don’t ignore warnings. If your printer is telling you it’s low on ink, buy a cartridge. You don’t have to install it until your printer actually runs out of ink–but when that happens, you’ll be prepared. If we’d acknowledged the warning signs of our hot water heater’s impending demise last summer, we could have avoided the blown circuit breaker that cost us a visit from the electrician in addition to our new water heater.
Don’t wait. If you can do it now, do it now–even if it doesn’t strictly need to be done until tomorrow. You may end up running out of time tomorrow. Then you’ll be running behind schedule. (That’s a huge source of stress for me.) If the gas tank is two-thirds full, fill it up. If you have two rolls of toilet paper left, buy more. Fit the task into your day as soon as you notice it needs to be done.
If it’s broke, fix it. Rather than dealing with the constant aggravation of a windshield wiper that doesn’t clear the windshield, replace it. If your glasses keep sliding down your nose, get them adjusted. Many small annoyances add up to a lot of stress. If you’ve ever had one of those moments when you’re convinced the entire world is falling apart, you know what I’m talking about.
I’m always looking for ways to make my life more manageable. For me, it’s not about maximum speed or efficiency. It’s about making the most of the time I have with the people I love.
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