Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Did you read J.D. Salinger’s novel Catcher in the Rye when you were in college or high school? The one thing everyone seems to remember about its protagonist, Holden Caulfield, is his distaste for the people he calls phonies. Basically, a “phony” is every person who behaves differently in public than in private. (In other words, every adult in the world.)

I think Holden was onto something, though: he understood that part of growing up is learning to conceal certain parts of our identities–the less socially acceptable parts. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for civilized public behavior and good manners. But as we internalize certain parts of ourselves, we also begin to sense that we’re not exactly the person others think we are. That’s the basis for what’s called Imposter Syndrome.

First identified by Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes in the 1970s, Imposter Syndrome is the feeling that your successes and achievements are really the result of good fortune, not personal effort. In other words, it’s the sense that you’re a phony. You aren’t really qualified for your job; you just duped someone into hiring you. You didn’t really deserve that degree you have framed on your office wall; you just faked your way through a whole bunch of tests. Eventually, though, you’re pretty confident that someone is going to figure out that you’re a fraud. You live in fear of being discovered.

Sound familiar?

Women are particularly vulnerable to Imposter Syndrome, though it can affect men as well. Nevertheless, the men in Clance and Imes’ study more often took credit for their achievements and ascribed those times they fell short of a goal to bad luck. The women did exactly the opposite—they attributed their successes to good luck and their failures to personal shortcomings.

Interestingly, the women fell into two distinct groups, each of which had grown up with a particular family dynamic. In the first group, the women had been raised in families where another child had been identified as “the smart one” and found it difficult to have confidence in themselves. This makes logical sense, but what’s more interesting to me is the second group: Clance and Imes determined that these women had grown up being told they could accomplish anything they wanted. They were told, over and over again, that they were exceptional in every possible way.

How could that kind of praise lead to Imposter Syndrome?

Inevitably, because they were human, those women struggled with something—and when they did, they began to doubt the praise they’d received. They came to believe that they were not exceptional at all; they’d just managed to fool their parents into believing they were.

Perhaps the most devastating thing about Imposter Syndrome is that you can’t succeed your way out of it. Multiple successes don’t convince the supposed imposter that she’s genuinely competent–in fact, hard work just emphasizes that being successful is difficult. The harder she tries to succeed, the more incompetent she feels. And thus, imposter syndrome sustains itself.

Which brings us to this question: If you can’t escape it by achieving your goals, then how exactly do you go about overcoming Imposter Syndrome?

Become aware of the actions that have led to your successes.

Rather than simply working hard for fear that someone will discover you’re a fraud, make note of the specific actions that have led to successful outcomes. Some people find it helpful to formalize this process by keeping a journal, but you can keep track of them in your head. The important thing is to be conscious of all the actions you’re taking, whether small—like collecting specific supplies for a project—or large—like setting and meeting intermittent goals.

The next time someone asks “What’s the secret to your success?”, you’ll have a concrete answer. You won’t be as tempted to say “I’ve just been really lucky” if you know how you got to where you are. It’s okay to acknowledge that luck played a role in your success, of course, but even a lottery winner had to buy a ticket first.

Be honest.

Dishonesty can be passive–keeping quiet when you disagree–or active–speaking up in favor of a plan you don’t actually support. And honesty can be difficult, because there are times when it won’t be appreciated. But not being honest guarantees you’ll end up feeling like a phony.

So if you disagree with a proposed plan of action at work, speak up. If your comments are shot down—so what? When your colleagues see you working hard anyway, they’ll know that you’re operating from a sense of loyalty and professionalism.

Being honest also comes into play when you’re building connections among your colleagues. There’s a big difference between being friendly and being smarmy—also known as “sucking up.” One is always appreciated. The other is guaranteed to leave you feeling like a phony.

Be wary of those who resent your success.

Clance and Imes noted that many women don’t claim their successes simply because so many people aren’t comfortable with successful women. Attributing your success to good fortune is a way of letting such people know that you’re not one of “those” women. You’re not really successful–just lucky.

But keeping a focus on the actions you’ve taken to achieve your goals will help you remember that you’ve played a key role in your own accomplishments. Just as important is identifying those people who are telling you that your success is either undesirable or undeserved. Minimize the time you spend with people who want to minimize your success so you don’t internalize their feelings and start claiming them as your own.

 

I’m not sure if anyone ever overcomes Imposter Syndrome, but it seems possible that we can learn to have a confidence in our own abilities that will, at least, make the fear of being “discovered” a little less scary.