These Days of the Future

One of the things I like most about working in academia is this time of year. As much as I hate giving up the freedom that summer offers, the opening of a school year always feels like a fresh start. Much more so than the beginning of the actual calendar year–for me, anyway.

When I happened upon the Alice Walker quote at the top of this post, though, I realized something: I tend to plan my fresh start for a future that’s removed from today. I plan it for the first week of meetings, or the first week of classes, or the first real week of the semester (by which I mean, the week after Labor Day weekend.) I very rarely think of my future as something that includes the day on which I’m planning it.

But of course it does. Whatever I’m doing (or not doing) today determines what I’ll have time and energy for later. Whatever I’m hoping the future will look like–more peaceful, less stressful–I need to figure out how to build those qualities into the here and now. Perhaps more importantly, I need to figure out how to get rid of whatever I’m hoping to leave behind.

Last year was, perhaps, the worst of my academic career. (I’ve been teaching for more than 30 years, so that’s saying something.) But, starting today, these are things I’m changing:

• No more volunteering to do others’ work. If things get left undone, so be it.
• No more feeling unappreciated. When it’s clear I’m doing something others don’t care about, I’ll stop.
• Lots more delegating.
• Lots more focus on self-care. It did me no good at all to put myself last on my list of priorities last year. I’ve spent the whole summer primarily focused on recovering my health, and I’m determined to keep it there.

Those are the commitments I’m making to the future I want to see. The tricky part, as always, is figuring out how to turn those abstract ideas into a concrete version of reality. Here’s what I’ve done so far.

Comprehensive Planning

I use an online calendar at work, so I can easily add meetings and events to my schedule whenever someone sends an invitation electronically. Having my work life on my phone makes many things easier.

It does not, however, help me to see the big picture of my life–which also includes things like grocery shopping, going to the gym, and making dinner. So, I’m adding a physical planner to the mix again and splitting my days in half. I’m literally drawing a line down the middle of each day and scheduling my time on both sides of the work/home divide.

On Sunday afternoons, I’ll fill in my physical planner for the coming week with whatever commitments are on deck. (I’ve already done this for the next two weeks.) Once I’ve done that, I’ll add personal appointments that aren’t flexible–doctor, dentist, vet, etc. And then I’ll figure out where to fit in the rest–the gym, grocery shopping, a trip to the post office, and everything else that needs to happen, if not necessarily at a specific time.

Just knowing that I have room in my week for everything I need to do is giving me a great sense of peace.

Delegating Family Responsibilities

For a long time, I’ve been in charge of meal planning, grocery shopping, and making dinner. I don’t mind any of these things–in fact, I enjoy them. Mike is in charge of cleaning up the kitchen after meals–the job I really hate (and he doesn’t mind)–so this system worked well for us. It allowed us to have a family dinner more evenings than not.

But things are changing now. Our daughter lives in another city. Our son, who’s in college, isn’t always home for dinner. Mike and I sometimes schedule late meetings or plan to attend events on campus, since our schedules are more flexible. And a late dinner is going to be different from the one we’d eat at a more traditional hour.

So I’m delegating some of the responsibility for the tasks I’ve always taken on. This library of free printables at Day Designer has helped with the process–I’ve already downloaded the weekly meal planner and grocery list. I’ve posted the grocery list in a place where everyone can contribute to it. I’ll still be in charge of the Big Shop each week, but making the list will be a cooperative effort. On Sunday evenings, the three of us have agreed to sit down and plan the upcoming week of meals. We’ll determine what additional groceries we might need, when we’ll need them, and who will be in charge of picking them up. We’ll also decide which evenings it might make more sense for each of us to make our own dinner.

Prioritizing Self-Care

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve spent the summer getting back into health-conscious routines. I’m going to the gym on a regular basis, eating better, meditating. I’m using a yoga app to help build strength and focus on the days when I don’t go to the gym.

Right now, my goal is to do at least one good thing for myself every single day. Whether that means closing the door of my home office to do half an hour of yoga or taking ten minutes to meditate–every single day,I’m going to take some time to focus on my own well-being.

I deserve ten minutes of each day.  Constructing a future in which I don’t have to remind myself of that is the challenge.